Extreme Makeover: Iraq Edition

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Extreme Makeover: Iraq Edition

[White House birds chirping in the background]
Uh, Mr President... [garbled]

I don't know what it is, but as soon as possible, I'd like to get it done tomorrow if possible.

[Logo, theme music]

The LA Times says this is not a show about remodeling so much as rewarding the good.

We'll be changing the regime of Iraq for the good of the Iraqi people.

Their looks, their lives will be changed by us.

We need to help, help rebuild parts of that country so that the people of Iraq can have a more bright bright future. We want to help you rebuild your schools and your hospitals, teach people to read and write, add and subtract, not to hate.

He has really good things in mind for me, and I'm sure it's going to turn out good. It's just scary.

[birds chirping]

Last week I outlined the five steps to helping Iraq achieve democracy and freedom.

The president put forth a five part plan that looks like this:

A nose job, a brow lift, new breasts, a tummy tuck, better vision.

Plans call for the Iraqi government to have a president, a prime minister, two vice presidents, and a 26 member cabinet.

It's not just the outside that I want to change, but it's the inside too.

It's a war against people who've got this perverted vision about what the world should look like. And if there's some criticism of the United States so be it, I,uh, uh...

I don't like excuses.

It's a very important signal to the people in the middle east that it's possible to live in a free society and that a free society is a better way to lift the hopes and aspirations of the average person.

I came here for a dream, the American dream, like all the Latinas do.

For the dream job of a life time.

Everyone who had a dream and went for it.

Even though you might think it's a dream, they do come true.

Normal people are astounded by my resume because normal people never let their dreams get beyond their front doors because they're scared of failure.

Holly, who said dreams don't come true?

This is social Darwinism with commercial breaks.

But the end result is a peaceful Iraq in the heart of the middle east.

What a dramatic change, and he's not done yet.

I'd like to be there, I really would. I'd like to also go to Afghanistan. People who've been there last year and been back, they report that people have a sparkle in their eyes.

You can see it by just going there, every where you go you see it in people, you can see it in their eyes, you can see it in their souls.

I came here with very low self esteem about myself, and with the help of all of the doctors, the dentists, the trainer, Nelly, and Dr Yanni I found my heart and soul here.

Our strength is in the hearts and souls of our citizens.

All the pain, sacrifice and tears come down to this moment:
Full sovereignty, complete and full sovereignty. Do you mean full sovereignty? I said I mean full sovereignty.

It's a celebration of everyone whose lives were transformed by our program.

To see the Iraqi people in charge of Iraq for the first time in generations.

As in a fairy tale, their true selves have finally emerged.

The Iraqi government as of this moment is a sovereign entity.


We're lucky to live in the greatest country in the face of the earth.

[Birds chirping]